Friends

Through-out my life I have been blessed with the most amazing friends and family. Whether those relationships have lasted 20+ years or just a few months they have all shaped the woman I am becoming today. This weekend I've had the great fortune of getting to spend time with a few of these special people and it's gotten me thinking about my past, present and future friendships. I've realized I have this really bad habit of "shutting down" whenever I'm dealing with a difficult situation or making a big life change. When I was graduating HS and preparing to move to Orlando I remember my dad getting on to me because I was exceptionally snippy toward my family, exceedingly moody whenever I was home, and basically just not too fun to be around. It was almost as if I was trying to start fights to make it easier for me to move without the pain and heartache that always accompanies leaving those closest to you to go somewhere new. As someone who struggles to develop relationships with people because of my own insecurities and hangups, I often have found it "easier" to almost avoid people, even good friends, whenever I'm in the midst of a personal struggle not only to save them the hassel, but save myself the pain that inevitably comes with the next move. I've caught myself doing both those things (getting snippy or just avoiding people and situations) a couple times this week. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with (work with) this past year, but this is a different thing. This is a behavior I need to get undercontrol or risk alienating my friends here in West Palm just before I leave. Leaving is hard, even though it's my decision, it's still hard. I have, against all odds, been blessed with some amazing friendships since I moved to WP and I am going to miss my S. FL. friends terribly once I move. I must make sure to put everything I have into making these last 3 weeks great. There is so much to fit it, so many things I want to do, people I want to spend real, quality time with, before I get on that plane on the 25th. I am going to "fight the funk" that I'm so predisposed to in order to make these last few outings as enjoyable as they can be. If you see me don't let me succumb to this ridiculousness. Get me out of my house, don't allow me to hide from my future by pretending it's not happening. Keep me in your prayers as I'm preparing myself mentally, physically, and spiritually to make this move. Call me out if I'm being stupid...it happens more often than I care to admit!